


Dreaming

by KionKat



Series: Bioware [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M, Heartbreak, Reunion Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KionKat/pseuds/KionKat
Summary: Reality is more Cold than Dreams
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas
Series: Bioware [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021771
Kudos: 9





	Dreaming

She stared at her naked face in the mirror, and, despite the years it had been since her marks had been removed, she was completely unrecognizable to herself. She had changed so much, all because of him. Her face, her arm, everything reminded her of him.

She began to feel hot tears of anger fall down her face as she hit the wall, crying out in rage and anguish. She cursed herself for being so stupid and young when she had fallen for Solas. Now, she was battle scared and worn, and knew now that he was the worst mistake of her life. And she had made plenty of mistakes.

She sometimes would see her wolf in her dreams, forever haunting her and watching over her. Ellana knew with all her being it was Solas. She could sense him vividly. In her dreams, she would chase the wolf, herself in a wolf's body, until he disappeared far beyond her. She woke up crying every night; as she had the dream nearly every time she slept.

She threw herself onto her bed, face first and not bothering to break her fall. She just wanted to disappear. There was nothing left for her. She had faded into purposeless irrelevance, and it seemed that was the outlook for the rest of what she thought was a miserable existence. She longed for Skyhold, for her friends, for her purpose to come back. She turned on her back, reaching to the ceiling and imagining the sky. When she was younger, nothing but a keeper's first, the sky seemed to be so big and endless. Now she felt it was suffocating.

It wasn't long before she drifted into a lucid sleep. She was aware she was dreaming, and, as a mage, always had to be vigilant. But, unlike her younger years, it wasn't demons she looked out for. It was him. 

It was quite strange. Most of the time, her dreams took place when she was a wolf- but she knew she was her, an elf. She even had her arm in the dream. She hugged it to her, feeling a wave of what was both sadness and relief. She stretched it towards the sky, that seemed a greyish blue. The scene was a deep forest, one that had some slight familiarity. It reminded her of the forests her clans would camp in. Her childhood nostalgia was interrupted by a rustling in the leaves. Instinctively, she reached for a staff that wasn't there. She slowly crept to where she had heard the noise, cautious. 

When she found the source of the noise, she stumbled back, nearly falling. She was caught by her arm by him. 

Solas. Not a wolfish version of him, simply him. His face, his body, his warmth when she touched her arm. She recoiled from him as she regained her footing, looking at his face with disbelief. She shook her head. Then made a swing for his face.

He barely dodged the punch, looking at her fist without a hint of surprise. "You! You bastard," She tried once more, putting her entire body weight behind it. She missed, stumbling again but this time catching herself. She panted. "What the hell do you think you're doing, you shameless son of a-"

She couldn't even finish, choking out a sob. She fell to her knees weakly, trauma all coming back to her. His abandoning her, his betrayal, her love, it all came flooding back at once in a tsunami of tears. Solas frowned deeply, kneeling across from her. She didn't even try to fight against him as she held her face in his hands. "Lethallan..."

"Why? Why did you come?" She demanded weakly, looking at the grass that was now wetted with her tears. She refused to look at who was the love of her life, and her greatest enemy. 

"I sensed you pain." was his explanation. He hugged her close to his chest, stroking her hair gently. "I am sorry..."

"You're not! You're not sorry!" She hit her fists against his chest, yet didn't struggle against his grip. She would never admit the comfort it brought, how much she had missed his caress. "You abandoned me! You betrayed me! Harellan!" she cried, sobbing against his furred armor. 

He patted her back as she hiccupped weakly. "Ir abelas." He said softly, holding her close as if she would disappear if he let go. "Mah vhenan..."

"Ma Harel Lassa!" she exclaimed. "You used me!"

"I know. I'm sorry. Ir abelas..." he repeated. He kissed her stained cheeks, wiping away the tears still falling. She looked up at him with large doe eyes, ones filled with contempt yet also longing. He leaned forward to give her a sweet, soft kiss. Lavellan relaxed into it, allowing herself to freely press against her troubled lover without remorse. She gently pulled him down on top of her, kissing him passionately and needy. She needed him, she admitted to herself. But, against her own desire, she pulled away from him.

"Solas...We shouldn't be doing this." She pulled away meekly, gripping onto the fur cloak

He quirked his head, looking at her with a hurt expression. The pain and conflict were obvious in his eyes. He was torn between two worlds; the old one he had destroyed and the new that had the love of his life in it. Lavellan knew they could never truly be together now, but Solas had known far longer than she.

"You changed... everything." He weakly whispered into her ear, running his hands through her hair and running the other gently down the arch of her back.

"I didn't change enough..." she closed her eyes, allowing Solas to gently caress her curves and grooves, kissing her softly down her neck and chest. He unclipped his armor, discarding it somewhere out of her view. He pulled off his undercoat, revealing his pale bare torso. She ran her hands over it, savoring the feeling of her lover's skin as he himself unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her breasts to the non-existent wind of the fade. She gasped as he began playing with her nipples, rubbing and twisting them. She moaned as she pressed into his large hands that savored every feeling.

He kissed her again, running his hands down her stomach and into her pants. He touched her clit, rubbing his thumb over it tenderly as she moaned happily. He inserted one finger into her, then two, and then when she was wet enough, a third. He was tender, gentle, just as much as he was years ago when they had first taken each other to bed. He pressed his tongue eagerly against hers, looking down with lustful eyes.

"Lethallan..." he looked down at her face. She was pink in her cheeks, moaning with pleasure as he pumped his fingers in and out and played with her clit. "I need you."

She licked her lips. "Please, Solas... I want to feel you..." she begged nearly silently, neck arched back as she continues to be pleasured by him.

He pulled away his pants, throwing them out of his way as if they were a hindrance. Ellana stared at his length eagerly, her womanhood throbbing for more of him. He pulled back his foreskin, tight against his rock hard dick before beginning to gently insert himself into her.

He went slow, allowing her to adjust before beginning to thrust into her eagerly. Ellana wrapped her arms and legs around him, savoring the feeling of Solas on and inside her. It felt real, as real as it had been before. Through the pleasure his thrusting gave her, she forgot everything; The inquisition, her failures, her arm, and Solas's betrayals. She simply relished in the warmth and friction, calling out his name as she rubbed her clit in hopes of orgasming with him.

It didn't take long before a final thrust did it for Solas, and he moaned as his dick twitched and throbbed when it released his warm seed inside of her. He didn't bother pulling out. It was a dream, after all, no matter how good or real it felt. She came with him, tightening around him and crying out his name.

They both panted, catching their breath. He pulled himself out, laying beside her and closing his eyes. She winced as she felt warm stickiness drip down from her inner thigh, but she had missed that feeling to.

She laid her head on his chest. "Why couldn't you just stay with me?" She whispered, voice wavering as she gripped onto him.

"Ir abelas, mah vhenon. I've told you why. I wish i could make you understand..." He looked away in shame.

"Then help me, Solas!" She begged, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. "Please tell me."

"I can't..." he meekly answered, voice cracking.

"Why?!" She demanded, feeling hot anger and tears beginning to form again.

"Because you're about to wake up."

She jolted up with a start, panting. Her lungs were begging for air as she coughed. When her eyes adjusted, having been clouded by tears, she realized she was back. To the real world, the world where the love of her life was her enemy.

Reality is more cold then dreams, she thought as she let herself fall back into sleep, this time not dreaming of anything.


End file.
